The importance of knowing your love language... take the Quiz!
He loves me... he loves me not...he loves me... he loves me not.... He loves me!
Do you guys remember this game as a kid? You know, the one where you would pull the petals out of a flower to determine whether or not the person you "loved"... "loved" you back? That's absolutely laughable now but as a kid our definition of love was so simple... so uncomplicated. As we grew up we realized that love is a little more complex than we originally thought. However the good news is, it really doesn't have to be...
When Matt and I were first engaged we went through a pretty intensive pre-marital course with the family/marriage counselor at our church and it was soooo eye opening. This is where we learned for the first time that each of us had a distinct love language and that it was important for us both to learn to speak each others' language of love. This knowledge was a game changer for us.
The term Love Language is not new, it's a term coined by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book "The Five Love Languages". It's a term used to describe the way we as individuals feel and express love towards one another. The five love languages are: quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, and words of affirmations. Your love language is not necessarily used only in your romantic relationships but can also be used to express love towards your family, friends, and even coworkers.
If you haven't read the book that's OK, there are so many articles on the internet that do a great job of giving lengthy details of the 5 love languages. We have summarized these briefly in our own words below. However, we encourage you to do some research of your own... this is a very powerful tool when it comes to relationships.
1. Quality time: if your love language is quality time then you enjoy spending time alone time with your significant other, friends, and family. You like to truly engage during conversations and bond on a deep level with your loved ones. Having someone's undivided attention is very very important to you. It doesn't matter what you're doing as long as you get to spend quality time with this person. Netflix and chill will even do.
2. Physical touch: if your love language is physical touch then you're probably a "hugger". This person enjoys cuddling, holding hands, and of course lots of PDA (public displays of affection). Being physically close to the people you love is comforting and makes you feel safe and secure. Long distance relationships are not easy for you.
3. Receiving gifts: if your love language is receiving gifts then you feel most loved when someone spends money on you or takes the time to pick out a thoughtful gift for you. It doesn't have to be expensive but these tokens are physical representations of the love someone has for you. Receiving gifts on birthdays and holidays are extremely important and again it doesn't necessarily have to be expensive, it's just the thought that counts.
4. Acts of service: if your love language is acts of service then you feel most loved when people do things for you. This can be someone cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, etc. You feel loved when someone runs an errand or does a favor for you. It makes you feel good to receive help from those around you. J. Cole knows this love language well when he says, "..I wanna fold clothes for ya.."😍 lol.
5. Words of affirmation: if your love language is words of affirmation then you feel most loved when people verbalize it to you. You enjoy hearing the words "I love you". Compliments and being affirmed reassures you that you are loved. It doesn't just have to be verbal, thoughtful cards, notes, and social media posts that express how someone feels about you is also a great way to make you feel loved.
If you've read through these and thought "hey I have more than one love language" that's totally normal. You can rank these depending on which ones make you feel the most loved. Take this Love Language Quiz to help you rank your top love languages. Here is our love languages ranked from most important to least important.
1. Physical touch 1. Quality time
2. Words of affirmation 2. Physical touch
3. Quality time 3. Words of affirmation
4. Acts of Service 4. Acts of Service
5. Receiving gifts 5. Receiving gifts
It was a lot fun learning each others love language and as you can see 'physical touch', 'words of affirmation', and 'quality time' are in both of our top three. Why is that important? Well, usually the way you like to express love is also the way you like to receive love. If you feel most loved when someone actually says "I love you" but bae never says it because they believe they show you their love by being with you often and spending money on you then in this situation it's very possible that you may feel "unloved" even though that may be totally untrue. They may just be expressing love to you in the way they feel most loved. Do you see now why its so important to know each other's love language? This will save you so many arguments and misunderstandings in the future. You're welcome! lol
I personally think it's easiest to express love to those that have similar love languages as you. Why? Because you already speak their language! It's not to say that if you and your loved one have different love languages then the relationship is impossible. Not at all, it just means you're going to have to become fluent in their love language and speak it to them often❤️.
If you haven't taken the test yet what are you waiting for??? It is very eye opening to learn your love language and the love languages of others around you.
Thanks for stopping by! We hope you feel empowered to go and love on somebody now. If you t